Samstag, 24. Mai 2008

Sie haben ein Problem...?- You have got a problem...?


Und zur Praxiseröffnung steht selbstverständlich für alle Fragen und Probleme auch Dr. Knut als internationaler Experte zur Verfügung, melden Sie sich jetzt an....!

And it goes without saying...for the inauguration of the practice we could win the international expert Dr.Knut, he will be available for all questions and problems, do not miss arranging your appointment...!


Weitere Fotos unseres Experten finden Sie bei Hartmuth hier, dankenswerterweise von Jessie speziell zur Praxiseröffnung zur Verfügung gestellt!

19 Kommentare:

Anonym hat gesagt…

I want to have an appointment as soon as possible! I must inform you that I'm considered as a totally hopeless case but I rely on your professionality!!

Yours truly, Mervi

Simba hat gesagt…

Dr.Knut says:"Hopeless cases are our speciality and professionality is our surname,Mrs.Mervi, so please start relaxing by knotting 42 towels of your favourite colours together, sprinkle them with Arctic Fire and write on them in your neatest handwriting what you expect from the therapy.Then you will dig a tunnel, make sure that the soil is as muddy as possible and imagine where you want the therapy to take place. Then you come back to meet our charming assistant Simba who will proceed your appointment.She is in permanent contact with me and our competent Head Bear Therapist,Signora Judi, just to make sure that everything will be done to your complete satisfaction.By the way- thank you for sending over that new Knukia cell phone for all staff members, a gesture which already proved your practical and positive inner attitude towards the therapeutical process.Looking forward to hearing from you soon,and don't forget to bring some samples of your latest product selection,that could help arranging your appointment as the waiting list is already getting longer and longer as I have just come to learn by our assistant Simba..."

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Simba, I have now started knotting the 42 towels.... See you soon - I'll take with me the entire Knuti collection. I can reveal that there's - among many other things a new elegant nose gloss!!

Knowing that I'm in your good care I feel much better already!!

Hugs from Mervi

Simba hat gesagt…

We are glad to hear that the first signs of improvementare showing already, Dr.Knut says, that is typical for serious cases, alone the outlook to start a therapy may work wonders. But please do not forget digging the tunnel, this is crucial!By the way, what have ben your symptoms in the first place?
You can contact me anytime.We are already looking forward to your new nose gloss, Dr.Knut might give it a personal try in case you need a test person...

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Dr Knut!

My biggest problem is my big ego and my great expectations....As the step 2 in the therapy I've started digging the tunnel! I'm sure that after the therapi I'll be the most humble person on the earth, hahaa...

You are so welcome to test Knuti's new products. I'll send you some samples!

Hugs from Mervi with the big ego (at least so far)

Simba hat gesagt…

Dr.Knut says:"High Expectations...big ego...you are sure , Mrs.Mervi, that you really need a therapy??? Anyway, you seem to suffer...after digging the tunnel, I would like you to close your eyes, smell the soil, concentrate on the scent of the leaves and the colours of the flowers in your garden...wait until the night falls, take a nap for a while, open your eyes then, look into the sky and search for the bears, don't be afraid if you don't find them immediately, myself I needed a chart first...,address to each star by presenting yourself saying 'I am Mervi and I want to send you a message.' It goes without saying that each star composing the bears represents one bear on earth...start with the one who comes into your mind first then you go on ...use your imagination and knowledge-travel around the globe, as manager of KnutiTours it will be easy for you, you will see them all...Wilbär, Flocke, Lara, Olaf, Cuker, Klondike & Snow, Peace and Pike...Datvi...Lars, Tosca...Killer Katjuscha...Antonia...Olinka, some may have names, some won't ...some maybe already dead, some won't...speak to them all, you might see craws as well, don't get distracted...as you have learned already yesterday on Towelday, it is important not to panick, never..not even when you see a wild herd...or Bokito or your Miffe ..or Dr.B....deliver your messages and be open for what will happen then...You might want to remove the mud in your ears from the tunnel digging, some water is allowed to make sure that you can hear too what they will say to you...although it is not necessary...but as I want you to feel comfortable, do as you like...
When you are done, read again what you have written on the towels in your neatest handwriting and decide if your expectations for the therapy are still the same or if something has changed...Come back then for your next appointment...By the way the nose gloss and the other samples have not yet arrived, at least this is what my charming assistant Simba is telling me..."

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Dr Knut!

I will follow your orders to the point! As a matter of fact I'm feeling some improvement already so there's hope for me!!

Oh dear, I must remind Captain Yeo to bring the samples to you in her starship. But you know - when you're waiting for something good etc....

Hugs from Mervi who's ego has become at least one size smaller....

Simba hat gesagt…

Dr.Knut says:"Dear Mrs.Mervi,we can't await the arrival of Yeoman's starship, please do not forget to add a manual for the samples just to let me know how and what you expect me to test for you, thorough research is the key of successful marketing...so if I can contribute to your success, just let me know, my reputation includes also increasing market shares for small enclosures, international and online matchmaking bets, in all modesty I can say that I am chief tester of jute bags, fish buckets and toilet brushes, nipple and smiley balls.For the time being 3 popular companies specialised on sun-and reading glasses are competing to get my services, I might give one a go should they offer me contact lenses testing..So the moment is well chosen, I have some spare time to run some tests for you.But back to our business, Mrs.Mervi, we really need a report from you after the bear star whispering, try to concentrate on what you will experience during the night, it is nice that you feel improvement but it could be treacherous, we do not want you to slip back after one of the following steps..."

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Simba!

Knuti has been developing some new items but I promise you'll be the first to test them all! I'm very impressed by your marketing skills!

Well, last night I tried to do some bear whispering. Can you guess what happened? Suddenly I felt I was a beautiful bear, too, and I was talking a strange language - mrrrgrr mrrrggrrr, mrrr - I don't remember I ever studied that language but I could speak it fluently anyway. Now, what do you think of that? Am I making any progress?

Hugs from Mervi

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dr. Knut, I am consulting on the case of Mrs. Mervi...I think therapy will be long-term but prognosis is good. I concur with your current therapy plan. Well done. Keep up the good work!
Doctor Signora Judi

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Dr Knut!

I'm sorry I nearly missed my appointment but it was such a busy day at work. You know, my working days are very long because I have to travel by bus every day 3-4 (depending on the traffic) hours so the total time is always 12-13 hours! Well, yesterday I tried to speak that new language with my collegues but they just shook their heads and didn't understand a word...but never mind, I keep talking to myself, hihii...

Knuti-Judi, I'm very happy to know you're one of my therapists! The more the merrier!

Hugs from Mervi

Simba hat gesagt…

Dr.Knut says:"I agree with you, Dr.Signora Judi, that the therapy will be a long-term one. Considering the environment of the patient, her time consuming traveling to work, the difficulty of integration of new experiences in daily life ...all these are factors which have an impact on the process. Yesterday I sent my charming assistant Simba personally to check on Mrs.Mervi's health, unfortunately she was not at her offices, but despite of her absence the report of Simba was very helpful. The offices and the home seem to be all in very good order and condition, friendly,welcoming, warm, showing a personality which seems to be open for new experiences, not avoiding contact. So you might say, there is a good ground on which to plant...We might have to work a bit on obsessions,don't you think, Dr.Signora Judi, schedules and even the way Mrs Mervi measures time...everything seems completely to be focused on one town in Germany, there some further field work will have to be done...wouldn't you agree, Dr.Signora Judi?
I have to stop here as I have to follow my own regression therapy, maybe we can continue confering later on..."

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Dr Knut and Simba!

I'm so glad you both consider there's still hope for me!! I rely completely on your competence and professionality - it makes me feel very secure. Yes, I'm aware I'm very focused on that certain city in Germany and a certain bear living in that city - that disease is called Knutitis. Knutitis polarius is a something that can't and MUSTN'T be cured but I'm open for any treatment regarding my other 'diseases'!

Yours faithfully, Patient Mervi

Simba hat gesagt…

Dr.Knut says: "Dear Mrs.Mervi, and ohoh...what do we hear...? Knutitis polarius..? This sounds too interesting to be true and by the way, since when are patients considered to provide the diagnostics...? Is this a new fashion, or what??? It flatters our practice that you feel so secure but we recommend you strongly not too interfere in what is called the diagnostical process...So and as to the next steps: Start packing your luggage, tomorrow you will travel, you do not need a lot...make sure that you pack some carefree clothes and slip-proved shoes in which you feel comfortable...be prepared for a competition!Take care of colours and scent.. Don't forget the samples and some Swedish or Finnish dogcrackers would make an ideal accessory too(photos would be nice too as prove that you are preparing yourself well). Be sure , it will be an experience, at least this is guarenteed!
Come back here, when you are done with all the preparations...then you will receive new instructions..."

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Dr Knut und Simba!

Sorry, I missed an appointment but my excuse is this terrible heat! Here in Scandinavia we're not used to heat. I feel my brain's melting. I think it's called brainius meltitus in latin. OK, I promise I won't be making any diagnosis myself...

I have packed my little bag with everything I need + another bigger bag with the samples and lots of dogcrackers! I'm now waiting for further instructions.

Big hugs from your Patient (hmm, patience isn't one of my virtues, hahaa...) Mervi

Simba hat gesagt…

Dr. Knut says:" Well done, Mrs.Mervi, the only thing missing for the time being is the photo of the Scandinavian dogcrackers, maybe you could just describe them, if your camera is not accessable...
At midnight you will be picked up by Yeo's starship. You will be going to Nuremberg, Stuttgart and Vienna. You will approach Flocke, Wilbär and the twins without name, let's call them Ole and Olaf for the time being.Check with them , if they like the names or if they have other priorities. But this will not be your mission for the 5th of June. You will have to teach them something first..Read carefully what is written in following link which I am unfortunately not be able to reproduce skilfully right now and here, so go back to Simba's Outpost, you will find the link in question in the newest posting, it leads to secret photofiles...Again:Read everything, then you will know what to do, just one hint - in Yeo's starship you will find 9 items plus something round...Don't forget to put on your anti-slip shoes. When you are done with everyone, take them to the starship and bring them to the wolves headquarter...Nothing more is to be said. You have a big responsibility, you will score even higher (just in respect of the therapeutical susccess) if you could make it as well to a little town in the Czech Republic...But do not miss the appointment with the wolves at latest 9pm,in case of questions you might get in touch with my assistant on the new Knukia cell phone but be aware that I will not be available from mow on for let's say at least one day.

I wish you a successful and fulfilling mission!

PS:
Concerning the heat I was told that you will find enough refreshment options, most of the time you will be eyed by strange people, but does it really matter?

Wherever you find enriching articles, as long as they are colourful and filled, don't hesitate and bring them too, this is part of a research, so do not worry, it is not theft!

Be prepared to note everything down, it will be important for the next sessions!"

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Dr Knut and Simba!

Oh boy, I'm going to be very busy doing everything that's required! At the moment I'm sitting in my office and my employer actually expects me to work!!! Isn't that odd? I'll be back later today!

Hugs from Mervi

Anonym hat gesagt…

Dear Dr Knut and Simba!

I have some bad news! I've been infected by footfall fever! It's a very serious disease (soccerius severitus in Latin)..oooops, sorry, I was making a diagnosis again...It won't happen again - I promise!! Anyway, the best way to cope with it is to watch all the games...or maybe you have some better ideas? I'm all ears and eyes!

Hugs from Mervi

Simba hat gesagt…

Dr.Knut says: Soccerius severitus is a very contagious disease and I think you have already infected me too. I suppose,we'll take a break concerning your therapy. Just for a while until June 29 maybe...The only therapy for Soccerius severitus is sharing daily bets in our soccer corner, finding out how many polar bears live in the member countries of the EM 2008 and whatever else you think of as long as it has to do with one ball and 11 polar bears...oops, men. By the way how many polar bears live in Holland?

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.And now something off business: My charming assistant Simba has been a bit under the weather recently, suffering of a bad loss(someone with white fur). In case you want to contact her please be alerted already, she might be crying.But as she doesn't want to take some days off...We'll see.

Germany-Austria ?????